the salad that comes on the side of a shawarma platter
Imagine: it’s the second day of your tour. You have just gone through the most incompetent soundcheck of your entire life that took a full hour longer than expected. The venue was already as full as it’s going to get when your soundcheck started and people are starting to get antsy. You, very hungry, speedwalk through the rain to try and pick up some kebab for your band before you go on. Right under the kebab counter, there is an 18” poster of a fattoush salad encircled by the words “fattoush fattoush fattoush.” You ask the kid working alone at the counter, who is concurrently talking to someone through his AirPods, if you can get a fattoush salad. He just stares at you blankly for a few seconds and eventually shrugs and shakes is head. Fine. You order three assorted platters for you and your bandmates. You ask if you can get a salad on the side—just the same vegetables that come with the platter but in a separate container. He shrugs and shakes his head again, waving his hand to show his condolences. Unfortunate, but reasonable. You begrudgingly walk back through the rain to eat your shawarma with side salad before playing your set.
Does this even count as a salad? Yes, it was described on the menu as “salad.” Sometimes you take what you can get.
